Living with alcohol problems is incredibly difficult and getting the help needed is absolutely key. In fact, it can be life and death.
For any family member of an alcoholic, it can also be an intense and overwhelming experience, and one we don’t really consider until we get a second to breathe. We’re often too transfixed on ensuring our loved one is getting the alcohol advise and help they need, rather than worrying about ourselves.
But living or helping someone with an alcohol addiction can be incredibly challenging for us too, so it’s important to have your own coping strategies too, to help you through what is also an emotional and challenging time.
So, if you are part of a family who’s helping someone through alcoholism, here are some top coping strategies to consider that will help you through it.
Prioritising Self-Care
One of the most common mistakes family members make is neglecting their own needs. The constant worry about a loved one’s drinking can take a serious toll on both mental and physical health. Families may feel guilty for putting themselves first, but self-care is not selfish – it is essential.
This may involve seeking regular breaks from the situation, engaging in hobbies, exercising, or simply taking time to rest. For children in particular, maintaining routines such as school activities and social connections provides stability in an otherwise unpredictable environment.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Alcohol addiction often leads to disruptive and damaging behaviours, from broken promises to aggression and financial irresponsibility. Families may find themselves enabling the addiction by covering up problems, lending money, or excusing behaviour. While these actions may be well-intentioned, they ultimately allow the addiction to continue unchecked.
Setting boundaries is a healthier approach.
This might include refusing to lie on behalf of the alcoholic, not providing money that could be spent on alcohol, or making clear that abusive behaviour will not be tolerated. Boundaries help to protect family members’ wellbeing and encourage the individual with the addiction to face the consequences of their actions.
Seeking Support
Families often feel isolated when dealing with a loved one’s alcoholism, but support is available. Talking to trusted friends, healthcare professionals, or support organisations can provide relief and guidance. Groups such as Al-Anon and Adfam in the UK offer safe spaces for relatives of alcoholics to share experiences, gain practical advice, and feel less alone.
Professional counselling, either individually or as a family, can also be highly beneficial. It allows members to process their emotions, improve communication, and develop healthier coping strategies.
Educating Yourself About Alcoholism
Knowledge is a powerful tool. Understanding how addiction affects the brain, why denial is common, and what recovery involves can help families respond with empathy while managing expectations. It also prevents loved ones from blaming themselves for the alcoholic’s behaviour. Many organisations provide free resources, helplines, and educational workshops for families.
Encouraging, Not Controlling
Families often feel responsible for “fixing” the alcoholic. However, attempts to control their drinking – such as hiding bottles or issuing ultimatums – rarely succeed and often escalate conflict. A more effective approach is encouragement: gently suggesting professional help, offering to attend medical appointments, or providing emotional support when they are ready to seek treatment.
Ultimately, the decision to change rests with the individual. Families can create an environment that supports recovery but cannot force it.
Protecting Children
Finally, children are particularly vulnerable in households affected by alcohol addiction. They may experience neglect, instability, or emotional trauma. Adults have a duty to safeguard children by ensuring they have access to support networks, counselling, or safe spaces outside the home. Schools and community organisations can play a key role in providing additional stability.
It’s so important that you help loved ones through their difficult time, but don’t underestimate the toll it can take out on you too. Take the time to cope yourself, find strategies and seek help and guidance where necessary. Do that and you can help your loved one to the best of your ability as well as ensuring you are ok too.
